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PHEW! THANK YOU to those that suggested ICING it! I had to go get my heavy-duty garden gloves and they will never be the same again BUT my shorts have been saved!!

OMGGGG guys!!! I just sat in GUM!!! Does anyone know how to get this off? These are my FAVORITE SHORTS!!

Wishing you a morning filled with inspiration and motivation. Remember, each day is a chance to create something beautiful. Have a wonderful day ahead!

May your dreams be filled with happiness, love, and positivity. Sleep well and wake up with a heart full of optimism. Good MOOight, everyone

I think I am a repeat offender flasher!! I flashed a bus full of boys on my trip BTW! I laughed way too hard at their expressions and could barely walk😂

Did you know that cows attack more people than sharks?! I promise I'll nibble gently and I'll make you wet in other delectable ways!

Did you know that cows attack more people than sharks?! I promise I'll nibble gently and I'll make you wet in other delectable ways!

I often get told I have the best "Dad Jokes". Is that a thing now? LOL who here likes my "Dad jokes"??

Would you like a side salad with this juicy piece of ass? I bet you'd eat me out and eat me up in no time!!

𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐘 𝐉𝐎𝐈 Definitely one of my most sensual JOIs to build you up to the BEST orgasm of your LIFE! Just quote #HORNYJOI and I'll send it!

Share time! What's a meal you've had delivered to your house that was nothing like what you expected? DM me!😉

Don't get me wrong, the dumplings were fucking DELICIOUS but when your heart is set on something and you don't get it, you are left with cravings AND a full stomach! 😅

I have had the wrong food ordered delivered before too, I once ordered a beautiful platter of sushi, and I could just see it, in all its glory! The beautiful salmon roses and the tasty fashion sandwiches. I should have realized it was wrong when the container was warm. 😂

I am still so fucking embarrassed but at least I have a newfound love for a taco joint that I never even thought of visiting! 😂

It was a TACO joint and the dude was just as confused as I was as he pointed up to the sign and I had a good laugh! It was one door down from the actual burger place LOL! 🤣

I'm still so fucking embarrassed about what happened the other night!! I had a craving for the JUICIEST burger so I walked into the restaurant confidently and placed my order! 🤐

Rise and shine, world-changers! I hope you all ROCK the hell out of today and that you all spend at least SOME of it with ME!!

Good MOOrning!!! Today is gonna be FUCKING AMAZING! My whole body is tingling with good vibes so come over here so I can rub it all over you!😉

Singing the goodnight song with my own twist: 'Don't let the bedbugs bite, sleep tight, and wear clean socks!' 🤣

If I could win an award for misheard lyrics, I'd get the golden buzzer! Who needs karaoke when you can create your own side-splitting versions of chart-toppers?

If I could win an award for misheard lyrics, I'd get the golden buzzer! Who needs karaoke when you can create your own side-splitting versions of chart-toppers?

"Sweet dreams are made of cheese," my misheard lyrics could win a Grammy for creativity! Who needs correct lyrics when you can have your very own version of musical madness? I'm a lyrical genius in my own world! 🤣

Oh, you know those hilarious moments when you think you've got the lyrics down, but in reality, you're just in a karaoke bubble of pure blissful ignorance? I call it the 'I'm nailing this song' effect!

Oh, you know those hilarious moments when you think you've got the lyrics down, but in reality, you're just in a karaoke bubble of pure blissful ignorance? I call it the 'I'm nailing this song' effect!

I was just caught completely off guard when singing a song and someone corrected me! I've been singing the wrong lyrics for years! My version is definitely more entertaining! 😛

Wake up and embrace the day with a grateful heart. Good morning!

I know I say it more than I should 😛 but you freaks are the BEST! I am so fucking grateful for each and every one of you! 💗

What dessert is your favorite, tell me in your DMs, I wanna know how sweet of a tooth you fuckers really have! 😛

FFS... The mysterious disappearance of the pudding cup! I swear I put it on the table, went to grab a drink and BAM it was gone. The mystery of the missing pudding cup, did I eat it and forget about it or did I put it somewhere else without thinking... We will never know 😲

Oh boy, let me tell you about my friend's epic pudding mishap right before their big interview! They were all dressed to impress, looking sharp and confident. But then, like a sweet disaster movie, the pudding cup decided to explode all over them! They went from 'ready for success' to 'chocolate-coated chaos' in seconds! Talk about a sticky situation! But hey, it's the perfect icebreaker for any interview, right?