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Good morning sleepy head! Let's all take charge and kick today's ass!!

Or grocery shopping would get too much fucking attention. LOL! Ok, I suppose clothes do serve a purpose. Life would just be so much fucking easier if they were self-cleaning! LOL, or they didn't attract food objects. Licking food off a naked body is way more attractive than sucking sauce from a shirt!

I'm pretty sure if I had to do naked yoga in my garden that I would have all the neighbors peering over the walls. I mean downward-facing dog naked is quite the image in my imagination! 😏

There are some REAL dangers though... Like, don't cook bacon in the nude! It's just asking for trouble! I personally haven't tried but I am pretty sure bacon fat would have an instant attraction to a nipple, it's very soft skin and it's probably not gonna go down well unless that's something that gets you freaks going 😜

I also feel WAY more comfortable when I am naked! Not a fucking care in the world, naked jumping jacks are pretty fun! Watching everything get up and go back down. All my muscles get a freeing experience! 😂

I often think my fashion sense is so fucking unique! I walk around with mismatched socks and sometimes I have an item of clothes tucked into my panties but it seems nudity is becoming MORE popular every day! I am considering being naked more and more!!! Saves on laundry 😜

Good morning! I messed my coffee down my shirt!! At least my nipples got an energy charge! 😋

And this person said, "Are you having a hard time deciding on what's for dinner?" They got a nod in response and then BAM! I think Me N U would be a great menu... LOL!!! It's so bad it's funny! Please tell me the WORST pickup line you have seen, heard, or even given... Send me a DM 💗

Getting distracted now! LOL... They were looking at the potatoes, I mean what's so fucking exciting about potatoes? OTHER than the fact that they are fucking delicious?

OMG! I know I'm like that overenthusiastic neighbor who barges into your house just to borrow a cup of sugar, except I do it at the gym. Yeah, I'm that guy who turns accidental collisions into impromptu dance-offs. I promise I'm not trying to invade personal space or ask any weird questions! 😋

I mean why do you hit on someone at the supermarket... We're just out there looking at food, trying to decide what we gonna cook for dinner or if we deserve a sneaky treat this week, and bam out of nowhere someone interrupts that. 😋

I can ALWAYS laugh at a really bad pickup line, it's something that gives me a giggle and is just a GREAT ice breaker. But the GEM I heard the other day at the supermarket... I can't keep it to myself anymore... It wasn't to me otherwise that poor person would've had me LOL right there and then.

Let's all have the best fucking day! Good morning 😁

The last one, hear me out! Extreme chess, this you have to do while competing in another sport, so you would have footballers yelling their chess moves to people on the side. They gotta dodge opponents from all angles! 😂

LOL, what about reverse chess... The goal would be to lose all your pieces first! This way you get outsmarted last! Try to put yourself in harm's way without getting hurt! 😋

Before ANYONE else gets hurt let's calm down a little bit... Chess charades, so before you make a move you need to act it out to your opponent. LOL, this is waaaay less dangerous and could be so much more fun! 😂

Let's start with the obvious - chessboxing! LOL, so here's how it goes. As soon as you knock off one of your opponent's chess pieces you get to try knock them out! Chess with a warning!! Omg, I am not sure this is for everyone... 😅

Chess is such a great sport if you get it buuuut, do you know about action chess? The weird and wonderful ways of introducing chess to the outdoors? 😋

Good morning, sleepyhead! Time to pull down those sheets and start the day 😉

Yaaaay!!! Thank you, I am feeling the love from all you freaks! You guys are just the fucking BEST! I love you all so much! 💗

The last time I hid something on here and none of the guys realized that! Are you really reading what I am saying? Hit like head over to your DMs if I make you all laugh let me know! 😋

Fuck, I would NEVER not know when I need a dildo! LOL, you caught me out there! Wanted to make sure all of you guys are reading my posts! Hit like if you all are, I wanna make sure you are paying attention... You never know what might happen 😋

Walked with so much energy into my room! I need this right now, but what the fuck was it? My dildo? 😏 Did I need to take something out? It's fucking gone into the random memories black hole and I will never know what happened! 😲

Guuuuyyysss, I fucking ALWAYS feel like whenever I go into a room I forget what I need. It's like the doorway is a magical place that clears my memory... Is it just me? I feel so lost! LOL!

𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐋 You don't wanna miss the first time I tried anal!! Quote #MYFIRSTANAL in your DMs to have it forever!

G'morning!! Embrace the day with open arms and avoid knocking anything over! 😂

I grab some bamboo sticks like a makeshift shield. It's like I'm a hero in a funny story, gearing up to block the super sneezes coming from the panda. With my bamboo protection and a whole lot of determination, I'm ready to face off against the sneeziest challenge of my life! After a fierce exchange of achoos, it's like we suddenly get each other. We call a sneezing ceasefire... LOL! And that was it!

Then BAM! I am hitting with its sneezing frenzy! And I was tryna dodge sneezes from all angels! A sneeze ninja in the making. Trying to duck and avoid all this sudden air coming at me!

Out of fucking NOWHERE a panda appears, right. Not too random for Dreamland and it couldn't be that harmless. Pandas are fucking cute and cuddly!

Are you guys ready for the awesome story of how I managed to outsmart a mission involving a sneezing panda? Haha, trust me, it's an incredibly exciting ride full of twists and turns that you all will fucking love!