There should be a note on the door at the store. If you don't have a list and you are hungry AF, turn the fuck around and go HOME!! You will buy only useless shit and not know what the fuck to do with it!! LOL 😜
2023-09-11 04:04:02 +0000 UTC View Post
I am sure it happens to fucking everyone!! Let me know in my DMs if it happens to you freaks too! But you write a list, get all the shit you need on one piece of paper or a note on your phone. Go in all prepared and forget your phone or note at home. Getting into the store with a food blindfold on and going up all the aisles JUST to refresh your memory! 🤐
2023-09-11 00:59:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Went to the store for milk and eggs, but my cart turned into a 'What do I need again?' Mystery! Ice cream, a pineapple, a rubber chicken... Oops! The ice cream and the pineapple I totally get but what the fuck did I get a rubber chicken for? OMG!!! 🤣
2023-09-10 18:05:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Your awesomeness knows no bounds; today, let it shine brighter than ever.
2023-09-10 16:03:04 +0000 UTC View Post
OMG! I LOVE you ALL! Thank you, I love that you all think I am cute and weird but it's unique! My day has been fucking made!! 💗
2023-09-10 05:02:29 +0000 UTC View Post
BANANA drama alert!! All minions drop your bananas and head out! LOL, I mean really. You would THINK that I would get compared to Marge from the Simpsons but no, a minion! Do you freaks think I am cute and weird? Let me know in my DMs 😅
2023-09-09 23:59:12 +0000 UTC View Post
You GUYS!!! Fuck this is so embarrassing, I totally got asked if I was a minion at the store!!! I was at the banana section looking through the delicious fruits and someone stopped and stared then someone else mumbled minion under their breath!! Granted I was wearing a denim jumpsuit and my glasses!! 😅
2023-09-09 18:05:14 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning!! Today is a fucking GREAT day and will be filled with amazing things!!
2023-09-09 16:03:02 +0000 UTC View Post
BRO! Stop staring at me, is there something you know that I don't? The judgy cat is pondering how to evict me from my house and get to all the cans of tuna I have stashed away. I don't fucking know HOW this little guy knows this!! LOL! He ran away when I approached. I tried to break the ice but he just didn't wanna have it! LOL... Poor kitty! 😜
2023-09-09 03:04:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Have you ever felt like someone is watching you and you always looking over your shoulder and you realize it's the neighbor's judgy AF cat? Peering over at you with all the looks of concern!!
2023-09-08 19:01:27 +0000 UTC View Post𝐒𝐏𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐁𝐎𝐑 Quote #SPYINGNEIGHBOR in your DMs to see what my neighbor saw when I was cumming!! 👀
2023-09-08 17:30:20 +0000 UTC View Post
LOL!! Thank you freaks for putting up with the complete WEIRDNESS!! I love you all so fucking much!! 💗
2023-09-08 06:02:04 +0000 UTC View Post
What would be an alien's topping for their pancakes... Jello and asteroid sprinkles! LOL, all the appliances in the kitchen would be fucking shaking with the amount of pressure to create an out-of-this-world breakfast!! 🤣
2023-09-08 04:04:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Before I get too carried away, this is just a silly story I was telling a friend of mine about. I did not actually think this happened!! Omfg, that would be an entirely fucking different conversation to deal with.😜
2023-09-07 22:59:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Hold onto your breakfast plates! Aliens aren't munching on cereal; the 'Alien Breakfast Club: Pancakes from Outer Space!' Yep, you heard it right. These space invaders aren't after milk; they're flipping intergalactic pancakes in my kitchen. LOL!!! 😜
2023-09-07 20:01:19 +0000 UTC View Post
Ever wondered what aliens munch on for breakfast? Do they go for intergalactic cereal, cosmic toast, or cook up a complex cosmic concoction? Maybe they sip on stardust smoothies or zap up some pancakes! We may never know, but imagining their extraterrestrial breakfast menu is a cosmic giggle! 😂
2023-09-07 18:05:48 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your daily reminder to live life to the fullest! Good morning
2023-09-07 15:02:42 +0000 UTC View Post
And when it's all said and done, we'll all say 'Gnome Sweet Gnome' in our gardens. It's like a sitcom for these tiny little tycoons! These little guys turn your garden into a gnome-tastic wonderland, with their tiny deals and big laughs. Who needs reality TV when you've got gnomes making your garden the ultimate hotspot for humor and real gnome estate action... This would be the BEST show EVER!! 😜
2023-09-07 05:02:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Naturally, in the gnome neighborhood, there's this one person who's always catching rays in their tiny hammock, in the NUDE!!! He's so gnome-tan-conscious that he's got a gnomebrella to stay in the shade or prevent anyone from spying... BUT on the other side of the fence is another gnome with binoculars watching their every move!!! Even the tiny folk have a few perves!! 🤣
2023-09-07 03:04:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Those gnomes!!! They're now trying to convince me to buy a timeshare in a birdhouse. They're all like, "It's snug, and you get front-row seats to the bird feeder action!" It's like a gnome version of a tropical timeshare pitch, but with more feathers and less beach. Who wouldn't want to vacation in a birdhouse?🤣
2023-09-06 23:59:14 +0000 UTC View Post
Yep, they're out there, checking out your flower beds, looking for the best spots to set up shop. It's like the miniature version of a billion-dollar property empire but with gnomes in charge. I was thinking that these gnomes were up to something!! Not everything that cute can be so innocent... Beware YOUR garden could be the next hotbed of tiny property tycoons plotting their green-thumb domination... 🤫
2023-09-06 21:02:28 +0000 UTC View Post
So, you freaks know those cute garden gnomes, right? Well, they've got a secret life going on. It's like 'Gnome Sweet Gnome: Adventures in Miniature Real Estate. LOL! I swear I just saw two of them talking about selling my home! WTF!! 😲
2023-09-06 18:05:54 +0000 UTC View Post
May your coffee be strong and your wit sharp! Good morning! 😘
2023-09-06 15:02:30 +0000 UTC View Post
Omg, I want a kitty cafe, ohhh that makes me think of a NEW idea for a better cafe... LOL watch this space. I might just attempt this myself!! 🤣
2023-09-06 06:02:08 +0000 UTC View Post
As you sip your coffee, you overhear a serious feline conversation. Tuna vs. Salmon: The Great Debate. Spoiler alert: Salmon wins by a whisker! Obviously decided by the cafe's owner, Mr. Whiskerstein... LOL! I bet you he is part cat!!!
2023-09-06 04:04:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Meanwhile, Fluffy McScratchington is performing acrobatics on the espresso machine. Espresso, anyone? But don't worry; no fur ends up in your cappuccino.
2023-09-05 22:59:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Imagine you're chilling at the Cat Cafe, enjoying your latte, when suddenly, a cat named Whiskers swipes your sugar packet. Yep, that sneaky cat strikes again! It's like your coffee date turned into a real-life game of hide-and-seek with a fluffy partner in crime. Keep an eye on your sugar, or Whiskers might just sugar-coat his next adventure!
2023-09-05 20:01:59 +0000 UTC View Post
I have the BEST fucking idea!! Hear me out - cat cafes!! But it's not just any café; it's got cats. Like, a whole bunch of them. You can sip your coffee while a fluffy furball naps on your lap. Fuck yeah! This would be so so so GREAT!!
2023-09-05 18:05:35 +0000 UTC View Post𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐒 Wanna see me cum hands-free? Quote #GUMBALLS in your inbox to see! 😉
2023-09-05 17:30:29 +0000 UTC View Post