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You freaks just KNOW I will never need to buy lingerie again. NAH!! I will still keep my lingerie there for when I get bored of being nude under my clothes. LOL, it's not necessarily about what it does but what it looks like!! 😉

LOL!! Tornado hits Scottland!! Watch out everyone is gonna be a complete nudist colony by the end of the week! FUCK YEAH, maybe I shouldn't move to Dildo, I should try to see what the land of no underpants is all about!

Was this rule decided for EVERYONE?? Like, that's in you don't need underpants with something that won't cover your genitals when the wind blows! LOL!! Can you imagine what happens when there's a gale force wind in the highlands?? I would love to see that!!

I have a VERY serious question!! How was it decided that you should not wear underpants with a kilt... I am sure one of you freaks knows! 😋Slide into my messages and let me know!!

Wakey-wakey, time to adult... just kidding! Go back to dreaming about your superhero alter ego.

LOL! Well, thanks to those of you who went into my DMs and called me a perv!! I really thought it wasn't that fucking obvious!! Oh well, perv Bambi is always here 😉 Slide into those DMs and send me something to perv over!! 😏

If it happened to someone else and I was watching I would NOT complain!! I love a sneaky perv! Hehehe, who am I kidding!!! I love all the PERVS 😋

Did you freaks REALLY think I would go out with a skirt and no fucking safety against the autumn windy weather! 🤣It would be VERY interesting if I did though... Walking around in the street an accidental flasher comes walking by! SKIRT UP! 😲

UNLESS you go out wearing a skirt with no PANTIES on, completely forget this and have a huge gust of wind blow up BAM!!! Bikini bottoms!! Lol

Laundry isn't really too bad for me, it only gets awkward when I am down to a few outfits and zero underwear!!! But you freaks love it when I go nude, so it's all good! 😉

𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐓 Due to popular demand, I’ve made another amateur solo video! Quote #SKIRTSQUIRT in your DMs to get it right away! 💗

Good morning! Today's forecast: 99% chance of coffee, 1% chance of adulting.

This predictive text thing is turning my phone into a little ninja! Seriously, it's like my phone's been practicing its ninja moves in secret. One minute, I'm typing, and the next, it's suggesting words I didn't even know I needed! It's sneaky, it's quick, and it's always one step ahead, just like a ninja on a mission to confuse and amuse! 😂

When I decide I just don't wanna be in control, we all have those days right?? "Phone, what should I do? And my phone's all, "Flip a coin or take a nap!" It's like having a personal life coach who moonlights as a comedian. 🤣 I mean, who needs serious life advice when you can rely on a device that suggests napping as a solution to all problems? My phone's my go-to guru for a good laugh and questionable advice!

When I try to be all cool like, "I'm fine," my phone's like, "Nuh-uh, you need ice cream ASAP!" It's got the scoop on my cravings. My phone's basically a dessert detective, ready to solve my sweet tooth mysteries. It's like having a sugary sidekick in my pocket, always ready to unmask my true desires.

Then there are other times when I feel like we have a deep connection... My phone's predictive text is pretty much my psychic sidekick. It started with 'Hey,' but now it predicts my life story. You know it's deep when it suggests 'Pizza?'

Oh DUCK, my predictive text frustrates the duck out of me, seriously! It's like it's got a personal vendetta against the word I want. It's 'duck' every time instead of what I'm trying to say. I mean, why the duck is it doing this to me? It's like it's got its own ducking agenda! 🤣

Good morning, champion of the day! May your coffee be hot, and your spirits be high.

LOL!! Good night you fucking freaks!! Have the most peaceful dreams and I want you all to know I fucking LOVE YOU!!! 😍

Sex dolls also fucking fascinate me! I REALLY think I need one just to see what they are like, the logistics behind and if I would enjoy it or not! 😏

Mannequins get a FUCK load of attention when they are rocking the latest fashion but put them in plain clothes and boom no one stops to think about them or look at their rocking new fit! Fuck, poor giant dolls! BUT I guess the same goes for sex dolls... LOL! Tell me in your DMs if you have ever owned a sex doll and what it was like.

I was just standing around minding my own fucking business and someone just picked me up and moved me without me agreeing to it I would be fucking PETRIFIED!! LOL, let me just stand here with my fucking arm up! That's all I wanna do! 🤣

Mannequins fucking fascinate me! They are just like a giant Barbie, they are dressed up and put on display... No one really knows what they think of things and what their thoughts are! LOL! I know they aren't real but hear me out what if they were and they just couldn't fucking tell us?? 😲

Good morning, superstar! Today's goal: more coffee, less adulting.

Once at the mall, I got lost and, the fucking smudges and shit on my glasses made me mistake someone who I thought could fucking help me!!! I asked a mannequin for directions. It obviously didn't give me any, but it had this smug, plastic grin that made me question my life choices! 😂 So yeah, that's right, my finest hour in the 'navigation by mannequin' saga. Lost in the mall, but at least I gave that mannequin a good laugh! 😜

OMG!! All this reminds me of this one time at a friend's party... So, at a party, I went up to what I believed was a fancy vase and said, "You're looking great today!" Everyone stared because I was actually complimenting a potted plant. Plants deserve love too!!! LOL! That's the story I am fucking sticking to!! 😜

Picture this – I spotted what I thought was a smudge on someone's face. Without thinking, I fucking reached out and tried to wipe it off. 😳 Turns out, it was a total stranger! FUCK!!! Now I'm just an unwitting member of the 'Nose-Wiping Vigilante' club. Glasses are making people see the real weirdo I am!! 🤣

OMG!!! LOL!! I bumped into a fire hydrant and fucking apologized... to the fire hydrant Yup, being a 'blind superhero' with smudgy lenses is no joke. I think the hydrant appreciated how polite I was though. Who knows, it might secretly be a crime-fighting ally! My glasses make life an epic fucking comedy!!!

LOL!!! Fuck me!!! Don't you freaks dare laugh at me!! So, my trusty 'second pair of eyes' decided to throw a smudge party again. I spotted my neighbor—or so I thought. Waved enthusiastically. Turns out, it was a broom. 😳 But hey, who's judging? Broom, neighbor, same difference! 🤣

Wearing glasses means that you constantly have a second pair of eyes that are dirty... I totally mistook one of my plants as a pet! I tried to fucking pet a cactus!! LOL!! I NEED tips on how to keep my glasses clean! Do you freaks have any tips? Head over to my DMs and let me know! 💗