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Good morning, sunshine! May your day be as bright and inspiring as a crayon masterpiece.

LOL!! You fuckers are just too much!! What are you all thinking of pitching up for Halloween? I know a few things I would like pitched to me! 😍 But for real! Tell me what YOU all think I should dress up as this year!

Nurses are FUCKING HOT!! Omg, I got so fucking worked up just by looking for a nurse's outfit, I am thinking I need someone to make me feel REAL good!! 😉

As Halloween draws closer the options to be a slutty nurse are looking quite good! Would you freaks follow my instructions as a slutty nurse and climb into bed and spend the day with me? Slide into my DMs and tell me if you want me to be your nurse! I KNOW you freaks would love that! 😏

𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐓 Quote #LEMONSQUIRT in your DMs to join me in my kitchen while I make a mess all over the floor with my sweet juices!

Wakey-wakey! Time to put on your adult hat and do adulty things... or just wear a silly hat and pretend.

So there I was, thinking I was getting undressed in a changing room, but surprise! It was actually a ghost costume! I nearly gave the ghost a heart attack with my wardrobe malfunction. Now I'm spooked and confused in this wacky store, praying I'll find the real dressing rooms before I accidentally haunt the Halloween section

I went in looking for a pirate outfit, but whoops, I got caught in a crazy whirlpool of costumes! Then, to make it even funnier, someone got curious and lifted my skirt! Talk about an unexpected 'showtime' at the costume carnival! Now I need a rescue party, stat – before I become the shop's newest exhibit!

I walked into the Halloween store to find a costume but got lost in a crazy tangle of vampire teeth and creepy zombie wigs. It's like they had a secret plan to turn me into a costume creature. Help! I need rescuing, or at least a map through this monster mash! Not to mention hitting on a hot nurse that was actually a mannequin! 😏

Rise and shine! If you don't shine, at least try to sparkle like a disco ball in a power outage.

Can you believe that when you say 'bless you' in France, it's like accidentally proposing marriage? Yup, in French, 'bless you' means 'to your wishes.' So, if you sneeze in France, don't be surprised if someone thinks you're popping the question. Politeness can apparently be the express lane to the altar! 😂

My 'Lost in Translation' saga marches on! I had this grand moment where I told my German buddy, "I'm gifted." But, alas, the truth was stranger than fiction. Instead of admiration, I got perplexed looks. Apparently, I was just 'poisoned' with words. Who knew a single word could change my status from 'genius' to 'gulp, what did I just say' in seconds?

I found myself in a foreign land, ready for a sweet treat, and I confidently asked for a 'chocolate surprise.' Drum roll, please! What arrived wasn't dessert heaven; it was a bizarre appetizer from another planet, and I had no clue what it was. It was like expecting a fluffy kitten and getting a perplexed platypus instead. Talk about a taste bud plot twist!

Ever had one of those 'Lost in Translation' moments? You know, when words decide to take a little vacation, leaving your brain like a GPS without a signal. It's like trying to swim in a chocolate fountain – fun, messy, and bound to leave you with some hilarious stories to tell! I want you freaks to head over to the DMs and tell me your misread problems! Don't make me feel alone here! 😂

Rise and sparkle!! Or just throw glitter at things until they sparkle!!

What BIG plans do you freaks have this Saturday night? Send me a DM, let me know! 😉

Feeling as frisky as a squirrel in a coffee shop on a Saturday! It's the weekend, and I'm ready to pounce on fun like it's my job. Whether it's dancing, Netflix binging, or plotting world domination (from the couch), this Saturday is my playground. Watch out, world, I'm armed with pajamas and determination!

Ever feel so good that even your own shadow starts winking at people? 😄 That's me today! I'm rocking it so hard that even my shadow's feeling flirty. It's like, 'Hey, world, check out my human, they've got the swagger!' Who knew shadows could have such a sense of humor, right? Today, I'm making even darkness feel the love!

Just me and my coffee, the dynamic duo of the morning. We're geared up to tackle the day with caffeine-fueled enthusiasm. But who knows, with these killer beans by my side, I might just conquer a few hearts too! Watch out world, it's a brew-tiful day ahead!

When I start the day with a fucking GREAT mind frame feel super frisky, I always strut my stuff and feel like a fucking superhero even if I am wearing sweats! It's ALL about the mindset! 😉

I hope your day kicks ass and has amazing things in it!! Good morning

On February 14th, love was in the air, but so were thoughts of Halloween candy. BUT no one wanted to discuss Halloween candy ideas... LOL! Asking for a chocoholic." That's me, always planning ahead, ensuring there's plenty of spooky chocolate for the sweetest of tricks and treats! 😉

Picture this: It's New Year's Eve, and the ball is about to drop. But instead of champagne, I'm sipping pumpkin-spiced something, deep in costume contemplation. My friend's like, "Dude, it's January!" And I'm all, "Precisely! Halloween planning is a year-round sport, my friend. Gotta stay ahead of the werewolf pack, you know!" 🎉

LOL!! You guys are such fucking party poopers!! It is NEVER too early to celebrate Halloween! I thought you all KNEW how much I love Halloween, the dressing up, the candy, the all-around spookiness! JUST enjoy the hype!! 😂

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐓! Wanna see the biggest squirt ever? Quote #FOUNTAINSQUIRT in your DMs to see us squirt like a fountain!

Time to get up and just be happy! Good morning!

Lol!! Tell me about the adventures YOU freaks got up to today! Slide into my DMs, I am waiting! 😉

After me epic pirate quest through the supermarket aisles, I finally sailed my cart to the checkout, feeling like a salty sea dog who'd conquered the seven snack-filled seas. As I paid for me loot, I couldn't help but shout, "Ahoy!" The cashier laughed, and I chuckled too. Aye, even pirates can't resist some landlubber humor when they find the booty, er, groceries they seek!

Ahoy, it be the day for some pirate mischief, and I'm not squandering it! Donned me pirate hat, cutlass in hand (well, a shopping basket), and a hearty laugh. Yarrr, let's grab some 'booty,' pun totally intended! I'm after treasures like chocolate, snacks, and maybe even a hidden stash of ice cream. It's a pirate's life for me, and I'm off to swashbuckle the grocery store!

Avast, mateys! It's time for a high-seas adventure... in the cereal aisle! I'm donning my pirate gear, complete with a shopping list and a plastic cutlass. My treasure? Chips, soda, and maybe a chocolate chest or two. Off to the supermarket we go, ready to plunder the snack aisle and sail home with a haul fit for a swashbuckler like myself!