"Why do you like submission?" I love submission for a whole..

"Why do you like submission?"

I love submission for a whole host of reasons.
Of course, there's the sexual level for one. I like things like being used. I love to feel his desire and to be squeezed by him in the way he wants me to be. I like this animalistic aspect and I love being fucked hard and violently and feeling how he gets off on me. I like to feel helpless and at his mercy, and I love it when fear and pain and my arousal intertwine. That's just how my sexuality works. Tender caresses are just as much of a turn-off for me as asking for what I want. I draw my own pleasure from his lust and desire and the more unbridled he is, the hotter I am for him.

Then there's the interpersonal level. Clear rules give me a lot of stability in a relationship. Knowing what is expected of me and that everything is good as long as I stick to the rules, reassures me and gives me security. I don't have to think about what might be expected or guess which unspoken rule I've broken to make him angry with me again. I like how much and how openly we communicate in a DS relationship. It creates an incredible closeness and intimacy with each other. And also living out situations with strength of evoking emotions and physical reactions strengthens this closeness and trust in each other. This creates a wonderful depth in the relationship. I like the security of knowing that I am accepted and loved as a complete person because he knows me, knows my most vulnerable sides, my deepest fears, my most secret longings and desires and my biggest mistakes. And for me, clear rules, open communication and a clear division of roles ensure that there doesn't have to be any arguments. If he's disappointed, sad or angry, we can talk about it. And I can assume that he wants something else. Then I can either change it or ask him to help me learn how to implement a change. If I am disappointed, sad or angry, I can always come to him and know that he will listen to me and understand how I feel. Knowing that I'm not entitled to demands from him helps me to stay with myself and see what I can do to make things feel better for me or to deal with situations better. I think it also takes the pressure off him, because I don't expect him to change himself or the situation, but leave open the possibilities for solutions. And knowing that I can always ask him for support really helps me to engage with his solution. He is free to decide whether he wants to change something about himself or the situation or whether I should change my attitude to things (or at least start working on it). That is incredibly liberating for me. It takes the pressure off because I don't see him as an opponent who I have to fight against in an argument, but as my ally who looks for the best solutions with me and has my well-being in mind when making decisions. And experiencing how much emotions can change when I change my perspective and my assessment is super liberating.

And then there's a spiritual level for me, by which I mean personal growth. I like the fact that I'm not solely responsible for my growth in the DS relationship. It's important to my master that I develop. Development only takes place outside the comfort zone and having someone who constantly takes you out of it and makes sure that you face challenging, perhaps even frightening situations, helps tremendously. Pain is part of life. However, suffering only takes place if you can't accept the pain. BDSM is a beautiful playing field for me to experience how pain changes when your attitude to it changes. Knowing where my mental and physical limits are helps me to approach everyday life problems with more optimism because I know how resilient I am. I also enjoy being able to intensely feel and act out all the negative feelings such as pain, suffering, fear and anger in the game. There's something incredibly liberating about that. That contributes to an experience of "wholeness" for me. I'm also someone who thinks a lot about everything. Giving my master responsibility for my life frees me to live more in the here and now and to brood less. And gives me the capacity to take more responsibility for my emotions and to invest energies in a relaxed, benevolent, non-judgmental and appreciative attitude towards myself and all living beings.

So why do I like submission? Because it satisfies me sexually and because it brings me great interpersonal relationship and spiritual growth.