Special price live stream cuz I wrote a lot of essays on the wall today š¤£ and bitched at the creator who dropped her link for a second time (with no hello, or asking, just dropped her link and then skedaddledā¦ TWICE .idk how sheās doing it when I blocked her after the first time. Hopefully, onlyfans fixes these bugs on their platform soon. š š¹ š¤£ )
Todayās episode 2
Watching an Halloween movie then doing some squats in my cute ghost gym shorts.
If you tipped or are a medal holder this month, you may ask for this stream!
I donāt remember which episode where my nice, hot girlfriend came by and I said she could drop her link but please feel free to check her out!!! I had to remove the comments but I still want her to get some traffic cuz she was nice. āŗļø
@italiangirlsex
Special price cuz I wrote a lot of essays on the wall today. š š¹ š¤£ Todayās episode 1.
If you tipped or are a medal holder this month, you may ask for this stream!
Iāll be back live again in a bit. We got some tributes so Iāll charge my phone and come back on. š $200 and Iāll do a fully nude shower scene. Thanks for being here for me. š¤£
She spammed 2 of my streams with her link and then blocked me. Can you trashy monsters just stop already. š
I sent her a message calling her a horrible monster and then did it on her page. Then she blocked me. Oh, so we donāt like unsolicited comments on our pages so we??? š bitch
He came back from Costco with water and laundry detergent for me and then sat on the couch, pretending like he didnāt read my text essays.
He asked why I blocked him because he had questions on what kind of vacuum cleaner I wanted since the last one broke and that there was a special at Costco.
I didnāt answer him and tried sulking in the corner of my room a bit. I said I had enough of waiting for him to contribute more and help out. I started putting more of the kitchen stuff away in giant heavy duty black and yellow plastic storage containers, a task I gave and paid him handsomely for 3 years ago so that we could get started on the kitchen demo I desperately needed for a new kitchen.
I screamed at him WHY DO YOU THINK I BLOCKED YOU and he told me to settle down and that he needs to go to the gym cuz he hasnāt been in a while. I screamed again I GIVE UP WAITING FOR HELP YOU WONT GIVE ME as I threw a bag of expired marshmallows at the wall and boxes of tea into the storage container.
He said, stop being like this and I said YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS. I noticed he took the trash out when I tried to find the trash bag to throw away said marshmallows so I lowered my voice just a little bit. WE COULD HAVE BEEN MILLIONAIRES BY NOW BUT YOU WONT HELP WHERE ITS IMPORTANT AND YOU CANT EVEN GIVE ME A BONER FOR B/G CONTENT. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. 5 MINUTES OF SEX IN 4 YEARS IS CRAZY. IM NOT CRAZY FOR WANTING SEX AND HELP AROUND THE HOUSE TO MAKE BOTH OF OUR LIVES BETTER.
He said, okay, okay, just calm down and stop being scary as I put in 4 more cans of pasta sauce into the storage bin. 3 YEARS IS ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU TO HELP ME PUT BULLSHIT INTO THE STORAGE UNIT. IM NOT WAITING FOR U ANYMORE. BEING WITH YOU SUCKS.
I threw our stuffed sloth into his overnight black gym bag. š¦„
I CANT WAIT FOR YOU ANYMORE. I WANT SEX AND HELP. LEAVE YOUR KEY.
Iāll be in my DMs all day. Thanks for all the love and support. I suppose Iām too affectionate in real life and itās good that I can pour it into the DMs instead. The expressional booth is open so if thereās been stuff on your mind and shoulders, feel free to release it here so I can be here for you. š
Also, Someone in the DMs mentioned to me that theyāre leaving Onlyfans bc the girls donāt offer any real connection and all they do is pitch their photos.
We donāt have to show you anything.
This includes exclusive photos of our bodies and our personal thoughts and playtime. If you canāt appreciate how special that is, then please feel free to leave. We donāt expect anyone to buy all of our content but we still have to put things out for people to purchase and then we can chat as if our fun content isnāt there. I donāt even send out as many mass messages as the average creator and I know I have to get better at that.
All creators have blocked rude people who didnāt appreciate the opportunity and this connection with us. Especially when itās freeā¦ until we block people who have been free-loading and taking advantage for too long and then have the audacity to complain. The free onlyfans option is a promo depending on your generosity to spend to make up for the subscription fees, not a right you have to better access to us until you take it for granted. We donāt expect people to buy it all right away, but donāt complain when we donāt have to show you anything at all.
I donāt really know what to say to that since I think itās a blessing and super intimate that weāre showing you our naked bodies and most private thoughts. That feels like a connection to me already.
I thought people were thankful to have a chance to see people in underwear for like $5. I guess we all donāt think or appreciate things the same way. I was under the assumption that most people know we donāt expect people to buy all the mass messages and that we ship them out on the chance a generous and fortunate person can come by. All the creators have a roof theyāre trying to keep over their head, families to feed or even kidz theyāre trying to raise college funds for. Just let them shoot their mass messages out and if you arenāt in a place to be generous, then let them send content for sale so that someone else can provide for them, but donāt complain when they canāt be adult bae care center for you.
Talking wiseā¦ I also donāt really have anything or much to say to people? Iām just figuring out my own stuff and if someone needs love and support they can ask and I try to give it to them. I just assume weāre always sending warm vibes to one another even if we arenāt talking.
I just love being here for people if they need someone. Otherwise, I assume we are all already connected. I feel like weāre all just walking each other home. A lot of people also donāt want to share their details from real life for privacy or escape purposes, so I donāt go out of my way to ask and enjoy waiting for them to share what they feel comfortable sharing. It doesnāt mean that I donāt care about you.
What am I supposed to say or ask to connect with people? If I do in a large scale Iām also worried that I wouldnāt be able to keep up answering. I donāt like leaving people waiting or on read. Even though I have to if theyāre being gross or cheap.
A lot of people are happy quietly adoring and then sometimes, they have a tough day and lay it on a lucky girl and then I figured thatās when we can be there for them.
Maybe, Iām wrong. I used to ask where are you from, how old you are, what are u studying even tho those details never matter to meā¦ until enough people mentioned theyāre not trying to divulge those details here.
Also, I just donāt really care for those details sometimes bc a lot of people donāt want to be their current age or think about real life. I donāt really care if youāre a 60 year old custodian or a billionare, like Iāll talk to you if youāre nice to me. Honestly, if you were 70 and sent me $20 and said you wanted to be 35, I would just roll with it and enjoy the roleplay with you.
At the end of the day, I just want all my followers to be happy and healthy. Iād do it what it takes to help you reframe your mind and thank you kindly for your time and your energy. I know itās a little unorthodox for me to use this space as a diary but it is what it is for now. I love you all immensely for loving me as I am and letting me get to where I need to be.
I am here for you if you need any love, blessings, support, listening, cute gifs or fun pics for a quick pick me up in your day. I love being in your phone and by your side. āŗļø
Thanks for coming to my latest too long ted talk.
(Stop giving me stuff to talk about so I can focus on editing photos, writing captions or whatever tf it is Iām doing on this earth.)
I sent him my last essays in text today.
Like 10 paragraphs.
I donāt really understand why he wonāt help me with anything importantā¦ and I just.. alsoā¦ donāt care anymore. I donāt want to cry and scream for help anymore. I told him I canāt take being in hell with him anymore. I need and deserve more than someone who takes out the trash and gets water from Costco. I donāt know what stupid planet youāre on where you think thatās all I need and deserve.
Youād think for a guy that canāt fuck or give orgasms, heād do a little more elsewhere.
Thereās plenty of people who would make a video with me without the strezz, help promote me, help me buy ads so I can make enough to relax. After 4 years of strezz, I kinda just woke up one day andā¦ didnāt find him attractive anymore. š Iām not fighting for love that you donāt have for me.
My lover or lovers should be the president of my fan club. Not my worst enemy slowing me down and bringing me more burdens on top of all the stuff I already have going on. Donāt I look like I have enough going on??? š Help or gtfo so someone bigger, better and smarter than you can help me get back to the top 1%. I used to be in the top .05 percent and ever since he came into my life Iāve dropped to the top 10%. I just canāt do this anymore sacrificing everything for someone who wants to be a loser and drag me down with him.
I want someone who says, āwhat do you need?ā And then just gives it to me without putting me on the absolute edge of insanity and on guard about my money. I want someone who would love to help me and would be proud of having someone in the top 1%.
Itās been weird to try and love someone who resents me for making money that he directly benefits from with free food and money to help him finish school and get off of cigarettes and vaping. He just doesnāt love me enough and I want to only give myself to people who love me enough to never ever want me to strezz.
He just sits around on his phone doing stupid things instead of helping me online or in real life till I have a breakdown over and over and over again begging him for help because I am only 1 person. I always see couples having fun on onlyfans. Itās easy for those boyfriends and husbands to help their lovers. I donāt understand why heās making this an absolute nightmare for me instead of giving me the best time of my life.
It kills me that heās making this a nightmare for me instead of giving me a good time. I told him again to leave his key and donāt ever come back here again. Youāve done everything possible to make sure I donāt love you anymore. I donāt love you anymore. I hope youāre happy with the results of your actions. You have nobody left and you will never find someone who was willing to do as much as I did for you. I kept telling you I need b/g content and instead of giving me 5 minutes of content you fight me or ask me for 50% of my onlyfans or a percentage of sales which is ridiculous when you cant even get your dick hard for a 1 minute handjob video that I could sell to make $500 a night.
You wonāt make any or get off your porn, nicotine and caffeine addiction long enough to get a boner so I can make a 2 minute video to change our life. You wonāt take me on dates, Iāve never gotten an anniversary, birthday or Christmas celebration. You couldnāt make it any more obvious that you donāt love me and I feel stupid for have dragging it out this long for 4 years trying to make it work with someone who makes me hate myself and my life.
Youāre not worth this hell and Iām tired of feeling like the ugliest most worthless person on this planet being loyal to you. Go find some garbage on your level to be with because I donāt want you anymore and I should have left you 4 years ago.
Writing:
Mai Hero:
Some people would rather lose you than love you.
So let that love naturally die out.
You deserve much better than this.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: Some people would rather lose you than help you.
So let that love naturally die out.
You deserve much better than this.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: Good morning, Cindy. Everythingās going to be okay. Have a nice day.
@maihero
What ever fuck that dude
If anyone buys the steam washing vacuum on my Amazon wishlist, Iāll send u all of this monthās streams and various photos. š Thatās about 25 episodes + more (worth over $750) from this month.
If you were a god tier/king tier patron at some point, or several times let me know I will also send some streams. š
One day, after many āIāve had enough.āsā¦ you just ā¦ see things as they are and just want nothing to do with them anymore. You may have wasted a lot of time, energy and resources on them in the past and that just shows how generous and kind you are.
The future will reward you ten fold and you will win a happily ever after in the end. Everything will make sense and work out for you so well in the end that it makes up for everything the universe puts you through. Youāll forgive yourself for your mistakes and be able to educate others with your experience and wisdom.
I wish you all strength, patience, courage, love, clarity, intelligence, resiliency in your journeys.
@maihero
Writing:
Mai Hero: If he wanted to, he would have.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: He clearly doesnāt love you.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: You have over 25,000 followers to choose from.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: Are you going to waste another 4 years being stupid, miserable, broke and sexless?
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: Wake up already.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: Someone offered you 20k for a date and youāre hung up on someone who doesnāt even take pictures of you or fuck you properly. Are you fuckin stupid.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: he doesnāt even take you on real dates or help make any of this fun for you. Youāre fighting with him to get the past content you made and thatās only 1 minute of video. Just fuckin move on already. Nobody wants to see you both together anymore. We used to cheer for him but youāre just draining us at this point with the sad posts and the Snapchat dog pics. He doesnāt even make you feel like a princess and costs you your time, mental health, money and youth. Wake up, already. Iām tired of being on the D team already. Youāre going to lose everything at this rate if you keep trying to be with him. Heās never going to be the person you need him to be. You canāt trust him, rely on him, talk to him or go to him for anything so what exactly are you doing right now, Cindy moon???
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: SAY SOMETHING.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: You deserve so much more than this.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: You love him but he doesnāt love you.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: How many more times are you going to repeat yourself and go in this destructive, co-dependent cycle?
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: how did this even happen?
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: Why wonāt you fuckin reply to me
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: ur a ****** ******* ******.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: Iām sorry I said that but reading all of this just makes me so angry and frustrated and helpless.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: I just want to see you happy, healthy, horny and doing financially well like you deserve. Itās not easy watching from the sidelines. All of this is really weird and stupid. Please let go of your attachment issues already and find some better people to work with. Are you waiting till youāre 50 and bankrupt trying to help other people who donāt even value you? This isnāt the right move, Cindy. Please. We love and support you so much but you canāt even focus or follow through with anything cuz youāre so distracted and distraught from the bullshit you shouldnāt even have to go through in the first place.
Cindy moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: You have to move on. He canāt even give you a boner for a hand job or blow job video. This is destroying you right now and you clearly hate it all. Please leave him and drop him already. He doesnāt even give you foreplay, shopping money, money for bills, dates or vacations.
The least he could do is help you one hour a day in real life or online. This is insane. You have given him so much that he didnāt deserve. He isnāt worth this pain. Please just leave him and make real content already. You deserve dates, foreplay and someone who wants to make your life easier, better and more positive. Someone smart enough who wants to see you succeed. He is draining you of your life and everything. You need to leave him.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
Mai Hero: You deserve goddess or princess treatment. I donāt want to see you break down anymore. Your life would be 10000 times better if you could just leave him or give someone else a chance. Literally anyone at this point. We will never understand why he wonāt help out in any important ways or do more for you. Heās just not that into u. He doesnāt love you. He doesnāt deserve you or your love. Itās so easy to help you and this dumbass hates you and himself so much heās ruining the both of you. This is hurting you more than anyone else. Why canāt you see that and escape? I love you so much and just want us to be happy and relax and try to accomplish 10% or what we said we would try to do.
ā¦. May today be the last day he gets to receive your love and may you have the strength and will to engage with people that are good for you.
Cindy Moon: ā¦
@maihero
If he didnāt come over and vape i would have gone on stream today. I need a different type of person that cares about keeping my mental health A-1 and is actually smart and caring enough to help me be on top of things. I donāt want to work 15-18 hours a day or be this miserable anymore. I want to study more and finish school but I canāt when Iām trying to managing over 6 social media accounts and help people who are taking more than they are giving. I donāt even want to live in this area anymore. Iām tired of spiraling every time he comes around and being worried sick about when his lungs are gonna collapse and how heās wasting the sexiest years of my life for no oneās benefit. He only helps when Iāve had a completely catastrophic breakdown and thatās during a rare moon and then just sits around vaping and fucking around on the internet while Iām drowning in a million tasks and voices.
Iām tired of not having any b/g content and fighting till I cry for help that he doesnāt give anyways. Heās not making this even 5% worth it. I donāt want him in my life anymore. Please just leave so my life can get better with better people around me.
I donāt love you anymore.
I hope youāre happy with the result of your actions these past 4 years.
Loving you hasnāt been worth it and I wish I didnāt try to be in a situationship with you.
Please leave my key and my cards.
I donāt want a life with you anymore.
I donāt want to be your girlfriend, your wifeā¦ I donāt even want to be your friend.
Being with you has changed me not for the better and I need an easier, happier, better and more love filled life where Iām not always on guard with my money or disappointment and depressed from having you in my life. Loving you has made my life ten times harder and youāre not worth being broke for. I need b/g content from someone whoās not my worst enemy. Iām okay with never seeing you again. Please leave me my key and my cards.
Once heās really gone, Iāll make 10 times more and forget him in a past chapter. If he wanted any other ending he would have listened to me and helped me by now. Everyoneās telling me to just drop the deadweight and I appreciate the supportive letters to help me leave him. Iām working on it. Being human with feelings isnāt my best or strongest feature. I want to feel attractive or loved and i just canāt go to him for that ever.
I guess thatās why I love slipping away to the internet. My DMs are full of people who love me softly and fill me with wants, desires, joy and ambitions.
Iād rather be a princess or a goddess online than his lover in real life.
Someone told me to just stop including him mentally in anything or trying to trust him, rely on him or go to him for anything. Iām listening and the influence is working.
Itās time to move on.
I miss the days when I was easily turned on by Chad.
Itās getting harder and harder to be attracted to him.
Itās bad enough that he doesnāt help me with important stuff, I canāt take much more of being distracted with the worry over his well being.
Thereās nothing attractive about taking on more burdens when I never even get the help I need in the first place. Thereās no point in fantasizing about a future with someone whoās going to be hospital-bound in less than 4 years waiting for lung transplants and loving someone whoās going to pass away in less than ten.
He came over with some food since he heard I was feeling under the weather. Him vaping 50+ puffs of nicotine into my only space is making me sicker and I lost my will to stream again. It makes me wish he didnāt even bother coming over at all. Iām barely attracted to him anymore. Sacrificing all the money I could have made these past four years as well as my mental health and happiness hasnāt been worth it. Im getting more and more apathetic about what happens to him with each passing day.
I know he doesnt care about helping me with work, making sure Iām happy or that heās ruining my life making me worried sick and angry but I wish he would make changes for himself.
Iām mourning my past years and i give up on thinking heās ever going to change or make my life better. I look forward to being in a completely different place this time next year mentally and physically. I did more than anyone else heās ever dated and I hope to be as willing to lose him as he is willing to lose me soon. I canāt afford to be around someone who vapes 50+ times an hour into my only space, litters my place with empty energy drink cans and makes me not want to take pictures or stream. It doesnāt matter if I wish he was worth it if he never will be. I want to be happy and I will never get that with him.
I pray for people who will add to my life more than they take from it. I know I deserve it all. I want people who make me happy and productive instead of being this weird oversharing bummer. Iāve been asking him to leave my keys and cards every single time he visits and I know that he knows heās losing me. He still chooses nicotine, alcohol, porn, doing useless shit on the internet and energy drinks over me every day.
I look forward to the day I wake up and want nothing to do with him anymore.
I wish I never helped him.
I find great comfort in watching easy to consume media. Mostly picturesque landscapes and fantasy fiction.
Iām currently studying on my couch some books on parks in Europe. Netflixās The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina the Teenage Witch playing on the television in the background.
I suppose I quite enjoy coming off age storylines in fantasy settings. Even if itās not my age demographic and I donāt find it strange at all if others do the same. Sometimes, I watch shows and films that star actors older than me but Iām especially yung at heart and I remember some of my most impactful stories was the Harry Potter Series, Artemis Fowl series, Eragon andā¦. I canāt recall.
Itās soothing to slip into simpler, magical times and live through or spectate a main character and their great blossoming moments in life. I get to learn about love, adventure, even a touch of history and good versus evil. I would say it develops me into a more empathetic, educated and imaginative person. When I rewatch sometimes I wanna be a main character, sometimes I just wanna be one of the aunts or teachers and I get to notice and appreciate more and different details every time I rewatch!
Any impactful shows, movies, books you wanna share?
