So, you freaks know those cute garden gnomes, right? Well, they've got a secret life going on. It's like 'Gnome Sweet Gnome: Adventures in Miniature Real Estate. LOL! I swear I just saw two of them talking about selling my home! WTF!! 😲
2023-09-06 18:05:47 +0000 UTC View Post
May your coffee be strong and your wit sharp! Good morning! 😘
2023-09-06 15:02:38 +0000 UTC View Post
Omg, I want a kitty cafe, ohhh that makes me think of a NEW idea for a better cafe... LOL watch this space. I might just attempt this myself!! 🤣
2023-09-06 06:02:01 +0000 UTC View Post
As you sip your coffee, you overhear a serious feline conversation. Tuna vs. Salmon: The Great Debate. Spoiler alert: Salmon wins by a whisker! Obviously decided by the cafe's owner, Mr. Whiskerstein... LOL! I bet you he is part cat!!!
2023-09-06 04:04:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Meanwhile, Fluffy McScratchington is performing acrobatics on the espresso machine. Espresso, anyone? But don't worry; no fur ends up in your cappuccino.
2023-09-05 22:59:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Imagine you're chilling at the Cat Cafe, enjoying your latte, when suddenly, a cat named Whiskers swipes your sugar packet. Yep, that sneaky cat strikes again! It's like your coffee date turned into a real-life game of hide-and-seek with a fluffy partner in crime. Keep an eye on your sugar, or Whiskers might just sugar-coat his next adventure!
2023-09-05 20:03:51 +0000 UTC View Post
I have the BEST fucking idea!! Hear me out - cat cafes!! But it's not just any café; it's got cats. Like, a whole bunch of them. You can sip your coffee while a fluffy furball naps on your lap. Fuck yeah! This would be so so so GREAT!!
2023-09-05 18:05:28 +0000 UTC View Post𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐒 Wanna see me cum hands-free? Quote #GUMBALLS in your inbox to see! 😉
2023-09-05 17:30:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning! Today's goal: avoid becoming a human burrito in your blanket. You freaks have got this!
2023-09-05 15:03:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Maybe I should try to be as intimidating as a shark... I can be serious sometimes!! 🤣 Da-na da-na-beware of the Bambi! LOL!! Ok, I can never be taken seriously, it is not in me!!! 😜
2023-09-05 05:02:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Sharks have been around for millions of years, and I can't even keep my indoor plants around for longer than a few days! LOL, we need to take some notes from these hunting machines... 😅
2023-09-05 03:04:01 +0000 UTC View Post
They've conquered extinction events while we're on a never-ending quest to find a matching pair of socks in our messy morning rush. It's as if they're cruising through life on the easiest setting, and we're stuck in a video game struggling to locate matching socks.
2023-09-04 23:59:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Sharks are fucking fascinating creatures that have survived millions of extinctions, the end of the world!!! LOL not really, but these big and beautiful creatures are so feared and yet they are so stealthy!! ALL you freaks need to look at the sharks up close let me know what you think in my DMs 😉
2023-09-04 19:01:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Wake up and smell the... oh wait, that's just your alarm reminding you it's morning.
2023-09-04 16:03:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Mid masturbation snack is what I was ACTUALLY thinking the banana was for! You are all such fucking freaks! I love how you all make me laugh! 🤣
2023-09-04 06:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Tell me what was the WEIRDEST thing you ever bought and what you thought the cashier thought? Slide into my DMs, and let me know how it went! 🤣 The STRANGEST thing that I can think of would maybe be bananas and lube. 🤐
2023-09-04 04:04:02 +0000 UTC View Post
LOL! I had dark glasses and a coat on, that's where the confusion must have come in... But fuck, I am just innocently trying to be discrete lately. I draw WAY too much attention to myself as it is! 🤣
2023-09-04 00:59:02 +0000 UTC View Post
The FIRST thing that came to mind was BDSM and that can't be seen that badly nowadays... I mean I think BDSM is super fucking HOT! 😏 And then a friend of mine corrected me to what the cashier probably thought! 🤐
2023-09-03 19:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Trying out some DIY today, I thought it would be so cool to try it went to the hardware store to buy some rope and tape because I have such a GREAT idea for doing something really creative but the looks I got from the cashier were fucking next level!! 🤐
2023-09-03 18:05:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey there, early bird! The worm snoozed too long and missed the party – it's all yours now.
2023-09-03 15:02:01 +0000 UTC View Post
I hope you all have the BEST fucking night! All you freaks deserve only the best things and I hope we can share them! 😏
2023-09-03 06:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Thank you freaks! At least I know I am not the only one who loses shit that is right in front of them! LOL! It's just one of those things that I need to get over and laugh about! 😋
2023-09-03 03:04:02 +0000 UTC View Post
The treasure hunt for things that are right there, it's like I am choosing to ignore its existence but I really am NOT, it's the desperation and the urgent need for it that makes me panic that it fell into the black hole of nothingness and it will all be gone forever!! 🥺
2023-09-02 23:59:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Or when I realize I need my glasses only to spend fucking HOURS moving things around, searching under the bed. Moving cushions around, opening and closing the fridge but they are on top of my head. They are right there but it's almost like I just imagined they had gone into a black hole! 🤣
2023-09-02 20:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
How many times a day do you guys go into full panic mode looking for something that is in your hand? LOL, like 10 mins ago I was looking for my phone WHILE on it. WTF is wrong with me? Please go to your DMs and tell me you all do it too. 🤐
2023-09-02 18:05:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Good morning, slugabed! Time to rise and shine before your bed starts charging you rent.
2023-09-02 15:02:02 +0000 UTC View Post
The adventures of a strand of hair. Omg, the stories would be ENDLESS, other than those poor strands that go down the drain... But what journey can continue in the drain? LOL! Not sure I wanna find out 🤐
2023-09-02 04:04:01 +0000 UTC View Post
It could have been worse, I could have left a cake or something and that poor hair would have missed being free floating in the wind... Although I can imagine being stuck to a cake wouldn't be bad, the cake wouldn't last long though 😋
2023-09-01 22:59:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Imagine being that little strand of blue hair, freed from all containment, with adventure all around it! There are no fucking limits... BAM stuck to a bunch of flowers with nowhere to go now... All adventure stops there 😲
2023-09-01 21:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
There is no fucking way I could ever get any with anything. Tried to surprise my friend who had been away with a bunch of flowers and no card so they could feel special but noooooo a rouge strand of blue hair was attached and they INSTANTLY knew it was me! 🤐
2023-09-01 18:05:01 +0000 UTC View Post