Today was a bit emotional for me, i got some news from a fri..
Added 2022-05-09 11:11:21 +0000 UTCToday was a bit emotional for me, i got some news from a friend while gaming that my former partner of mine had been saying some hurtful things about me in their group chat recently. this hurts a lot because, with this particular partner, i worked really hard to be loving and supportive. I want them to succeed, I've been encouraging, and i've never tried to hurt them. This particular relationship was hard for me because I was constantly being accused of attacking them. I could say, "I love you, have a good day" as they left for work, and they'd respond, "Whats that supposed to mean? What do you mean by that?" It was exhausting. I just wanted us to be happy. But happiness just wasn't in the cards for us. They aren't here to defend themselves so I'll refrain from getting into it too much, but they've admitted they've done things just to hurt me. after we broke up, they went out of there way to try to break me and my partner at the time up. They spread rumors about me to my friends in LA before i moved back, they've spent and impressive amount of effort to make me unhappy, and I just couldn't imagine what it feels like to want someone to hurt so badly you'd do this to them. I left Ohio hoping to get a clean break and a fresh start, I've even tried to reach out to them and mend things, which, if I'm trying to make a clean break can be counterproductive, sure, but I hoped somehow i could salvage a friendship. After eight months being away, I hear he still thinks I'm attacking him. And it hurts when you love someone and they'll never know. When they think you're just out to get them. I think maybe they're projecting, after all they've admittedly spent quite a bit of energy in trying to do that to me. I'm happy other people get to see the wonderful side of him. The adorable happy side. I'm glad someone gets to see it. I know it's there. I still hope maybe someday we can be friends and I can see it too. But why I continue to hope for something like that after how far they've gone to hurt me I can't say.
