09/01/2024 I feel empty, confused and anxious. No ease. I’m ..
Added 2024-01-09 20:39:36 +0000 UTC09/01/2024
I feel empty, confused and anxious.
No ease. I’m trying to remember those days when everything worked out for me and everything made me happy without much effort.
Each time it’s like a different life, lived by a different person. The worst thing is that in «borderline» I no longer remember what it feels like to be in the black.
In the dark kingdom the lights do not burn, the birds do not sing, the flowers do not bloom. I’m just burning from the inside and closing all the shutters and doors tightly, I’m driven by horror and the abyss, my hands are getting cold and a lump is forming in my throat.
You can't get rid of it, you can only wait. And not to explain.
It seems like it will never end.
But this «never end» goes away anyway. I know.
Sometimes I wake up and wonder about yesterday - “did I really want to do this? Am I really so scared that I can't handle it?”
I want smile, I want to make this world brighter, more beautiful and kinder, I want to mееt wonderful people and learn the best from them, giving the best that I have. I want to be full of strength and desire to create, speak and inspire.
In the darkest times, old thoughts from a past life come to me and put pressure on pain points: “do you see? You are left alone again. Maybe this is what you really wanted?
