January 14. 2024 Good morning! My best friend gift me a tat..

January 14. 2024
Good morning!
My best friend gift me a tattoo session for Christmas. To do this, I needed to go to the neighboring city, Gdansk. I decided that it was a great idea to spend a little time by the sea, take a walk through the forest and take my mind off my problems.

In Gdansk I was staying for two nights with my good comrade. We had a great time. We went to an experimental jazz evening, and walked along the embankment. We were even lucky and the sun was shining. What is very rare in winter in Poland.
We attended a free exhibition of a contemporary Polish artist. And everything was great, but…
…But then something went wrong.

It was as if the person had been replaced and I spent my last evening in Gdansk terribly. We had a very “big f*ght” and he really scared me with his behavior. I had to urgently look for any people I knew who could shelter me for one night before I returned home.

I found a man who kindly provided me with a room in which I could spend the night.
I was so stressed and thought a lot about something being wrong with me.
Why do I lose people around me?

First of all, this happens because I am a rather modest person in life. Most often I am silent and have a very difficult time getting close to people. And secondly, situations like this constantly happen in life when people simply leave.

Remember the girl I told you about earlier? With whom we became friends.

When we mеt, she had some problems with her boyfriend, I tried to support her, take an interest in how she was feeling and find the right words to support her. But not long ago, I wrote to her that I was feeling very bad right now, and I would like to mееt for coffee and just relax in the moment. But she said she was busy and just stopped answering me :(

I'm not the type of person who will write to people and ask for help twice. For me, this is a huge indicator that this is not the person who should be next to me.

This situation, like a flashlight, illuminated something very important for me that I must rethink and understand how this mechanism works.
I want to be free from the fact that I don't have to waste my energy on people who just use me when they need something.
Of course, I do this for free and do not expect anything in return. But I would like to have reliable people nearby and know that when I feel bad and need a friend nearby, they won’t tell me “sorry, I’m busy.” Or maybe It's as if I'm trying to close my need to be needed by someone…

Have you had similar stories with such people? What are your thoughts on this?