

π₯¦ π π₯₯ π π
Squinting to see any difference but Iβm not mad at it
37 weeks pregnant mom of twins flexed on me a bit at dinner last night. βHow far along are you?β, she asked rubbing her belly. βMust be your first baby.β Which was funny bc my son was behind her grabbing handfuls of french fries directly out of the giant catering bin with his tiny lil dirt hands. I didnβt correct her or try to get him to stop. (He only needed 4 handfuls to fill his plate and was on his way, why spoil this womanβs perception of me for a half-hearted helicopter scold???)
But ultimately it was a belly size flex with a pinch of
experience flex. Rightfully smug. I had no qualms. Sheβd come a long way and her bump was majestically enormous. I would have done anything for her.
The biggest shock of the night was when a casual acquaintance of hers walked up WHILE SHE WAS EATING and initiated an unauthorized DOUBLE HAND TOUCH which turned into a full on DOUBLE HAND RUB for their entire conversation...3 mins?...about... tennis. The pregnant woman serenely allowed it. Didnβt even flinch. Legend.
If someone rubbed my belly while eating I would dribble food on it on purpose. Hot soup would be ideal but would settle for syrup or honey. Even a quick dribble of spit to increase the embarrassment. βOmg Iβm so sorry!β π³π But, ya know, I still got that small bump mentality. Apparently itβs time to level up.