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lauraperlongo
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sweating out tequila this morning like 🤢🏋🏻‍♀️ lol It was Sa..

sweating out tequila this morning like 🤢🏋🏻‍♀️ lol

It was Santa con in NYC over the weekend which means drunkk Santa’s roam the streets wreaking chaos and clogging the sewers with drugstore quality poly-rayon hats. It’s cliche to hate it but who can resist. Fake beards dribbling whiskey onto your kid’s heads as they swing about the streets at 1pm bleary eyed and blocking traffic. The sagging pants. The soggy white fur cuffs high-fiving their shared interest in bastardizing the patron saint of children.

But, ya know, it’s festive. It also happens to be my best friend’s birthday weekend. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. Me and the drunkk Santa’s going toe to toe, shot for shot, on who will celebrate longer and harder. They’re empirically the worst and yet here I am caroling for carol alongside em. God Bless em those drunkk Santas. God bless em.

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