It’s December.. 🖤 I hope you guys show my posts some love th..
Added 2022-12-01 17:03:53 +0000 UTCIt’s December.. 🖤 I hope you guys show my posts some love this month and let me know you’re enjoying my content. I officially have over 1500 posts and 10k of media on OF. Idk if that should make me happy or sad. I have busted my ass doing this the last two years and loved it, but I also feel underappreciated right now because the engagement lately has been so bad. November was my bday month, and I thought it was gonna be a good one, but it was the worst. I had every intention of making content that was amazing both for me and for my viewers. No matter how hard I try I just… can’t. I can’t get it right. I feel like I’m at my lowest confidence point right now. I don’t even know if I should keep posting. What am I doing wrong? Should I quit?
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But yeah. I don’t even know anymore. If there continues to be no demand, and declining desire for me, I’m done. Why bother continuing to put in effort? I’ve peaked and no one gives a shit anymore. It’s humiliating. I am so tired of being a failure and I am so exhausted by life. I know I probably sound facetious and emo, but my demonic inner dialogue won’t let up. I am grateful for the small things in my life, it’s hard to be gracious tho when the thoughts in my head are so ugly. Every time I try to be positive, and go against my natural inclinations to maintain a certain kind of peppiness for my internet persona, it flops. Can someone explain to me why I’ve been sucking so hard? Cause I don’t fucking get it. I wish things were different and that I could just have a lobotomy and make it all go away. 🖤
